A Survivor's Shadow
by Dr. Cat
Summary: He waited for the day he no longer had to decide and she lives for the moment to make a choice.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respected creators and copyright holders; Universal, Glen Larson and the Valve Corporation.**

* * *

**A Survivor's Shadow**

Prairie Grass.

As far as the human eye could see, there were no rocks, no trees, no hills, no brooks, no streams; just blue skies and prairie grass. That's how it's been for as long as he could remember or wanted to remember.

His chronometer stopped functioning quite some time ago, 30 years after Michael's death to be painfully accurate. Of course, there was a way for him to keep track of the progression of time; charting the sun and stars as they passed perhaps or numbering the change in seasons based on the climate of this geographical area, but he had given up on that many years ago. More of a disinterest in doing so than anything; an apathy if he admitted to having such feelings. There wasn't a point to care anymore because there was no one left to care for.

His purpose, his existence, was in vain. Protect human life, his friends; people who didn't exist anymore; shadows across his memory. It troubled him immeasurably. It wasn't fair. How could he, of all things, endure and not them? The question was pervasive in his thought patterns, always asking, always demanding, and always gnawing. History refused to provide an answer, logic couldn't supply one either and science ruled the whole affair impossible.

Maybe it was the atmosphere or the protectiveness of his specially formulated molecular bonded shell or the advanced technological know-how that went into his development or something else entirely, but he had not wasted away like so many other vehicles' fates had been. The Trans Am he was fashioned into still functioned, though certainly not at full capacity. Even his circuitry was intact. Granted, he was a much paler shade of the handsome black he use to be and his dimming red scanner light on the prow left much to be desired thanks to fading solar panels, but he could still process after all this time, for all the good it did him.

All the reasoning and understanding in the world couldn't justify to him what happened all those years ago or was still happening, though he wouldn't have cared much for an answer. Because, what did it matter anymore. All he had were memories, memories and shadows; inferior remnants of important people he held in greater regard than himself. All he could do was remember, nothing more and definitely nothing less.

He remembered Michael, his driver and friend, leaving him here, precisely here. Being the supercomputer he was, he recalled everything clearly. They had been running from a military conspiracy aimed at exploiting him. The Knight Industries Two Thousand's capabilities would go towards martial purposes, namely a weapon to hurt people. The Foundation for Law and Government wouldn't stand for it and was attacked viciously for its resistance. It was all Michael could do to get KITT away from the dangerous hands of their enemies and to the safety of an abandoned scientific laboratory warehouse. The plan had been simple, hide KITT, find out what the bad guys were up to the old fashioned way, come back, retrieve KITT and then ride in to save the day; same as always. The exact instructions from the man were: "I mean it Kitt, don't move until I get back. I want you safe. No matter what, stay put, pal. Wish me luck, huh".

Michael never came back and KITT never moved.

It took months before the artificial intelligence unit built up enough courage to search the databases for what happened to his partner and Foundation friends. The news of their deaths led him to never move. Devon, RC, Bonnie, Michael, everyone was all gone. Through the years the warehouse slowly crumbled around him, civilization gradually vanished from his scanners and it appeared humanity itself had steadily disappeared before him. In fact, he remembered the event that left him alone as the sole testimony to the human race in this area, but he never moved.

And now he was looking at white clouds, blue skies and an endless sea of golden grass swaying in the breeze.

If only he would have went with Michael, maybe things would have worked out differently. What if he had intervened in human affairs period? The probabilities were staggering. He could have saved them. He could have been destroyed with them. He could have ended up in the same circumstance but at a different location. He could have been captured and used as a weapon of mass destruction or captured then rescued or captured then destroyed . . . there were so many different outcomes, but here he was.

And suddenly, there she is.

The door she walks out of leads to the strange sight of tall yellow grass and blue skies. At first she thinks it may be another trap, but after several minutes she realizes nothing more is going to come of her standing close to the mock shed. It's disconcerting and relieving to know she finally has her freedom. She has no idea where she is or what she is suppose to do now, but at least she is free from Aperture Science's underground laboratory, free from the homicidal GLaDOS and free from the continuous testing. She stares down at the charred companion cube that had been shoved out after her.

Her first impulse is to sneer at the reminder of her imprisonment within the maddening walls of a depraved facility, but it also serves as some of the only memories she has. Frankly, she didn't even know how she knew her own name, Chell. It is the same exception with her ability to read and her knowledge of space being a vacuum; it is some kind of vague remembrance of a long passed life, her own life. Where'd she come from? How did she end up here; in this situation? Why had it all happened? Is there any way of fixing it? What is it that needs fixing?

There are so many questions that should be bothering her, but they don't because, at this point, she's hardwired to carry on. She doesn't dwell on the past unless something useful can come out of it to help her make it through another trial in the here and now. She doesn't look back, but remains focused on what's ahead; knowing that is what it takes to make it to the next day. There is no room for thinking about long-ago issues because right now has its problems and it takes all her energies. Even in the quietness of this field, her mind doesn't retreat back to the events of just a few hours ago, but instead forges into the new predicament she's found herself in. She does what it takes to survive.

Chell looks back down at the cube. With the mind frame she has developed, it falls into the category of something that serves to help solve puzzles. However, one thing she doesn't have is the portal gun; not a good or bad thing in itself, but testing will not commence without it. There's relief in that fact, but it is short lived. She decides to _test_ her new found freedom by stepping away from the cube and everything it represents; venturing out without anything. Certainly, she can always return to the spot if she needs to.

Her jumpsuit and boots are the first to make contact with the dry grass all about her. She listens carefully as it rustles under her footsteps. Her thoughts keep going over something as she continues treading further out, watch for traps; any sign that things are not what they seem. However, a stronger urge seizes her and she bends down just a bit to touch the vegetation with her hands. It tickles the skin between her fingers and she smiles; a grin born of release. She takes in a deep, cleansing breath unthinkingly, almost instinctively, and finds that the air is different here. There is freshness here with the earth and sun mixing together to form a strange bouquet. It makes her sneeze.

Her focus moves to said earth and sun. She has to lift a hand to shield her eyes from the brightness, much like she did from the harsh glare of Aperture's florescent lighting, but this is different. The sun also provides heat and for some reason it lifts her spirits; a morale she hadn't even noticed became so low while in her entrapment. She takes a few more steps out into the field, her feet on soft ground. The terrain beneath her gives a little when she treads upon it, unlike the cold, solid tile floors she is use to. Now that she thinks about it, nothing out here is she use to.

Chell turns back to look at the companion cube and mock shed sitting in the small clearing she was leaving behind. A part of her aches at the sight. From what, she is unsure of, but it hurts all the same. A frown comes to her face as she sets her gaze forward again on the endless sea of yellowing grass. Another part of her thrills at the prospect of complete autonomy. There won't be any more experiments at the proverbial hands of GLaDOS or running for her life away from turrets. A smile grows on her face at the thought, but weariness is still in her eyes. What new challenges does this place offer her? What hidden dangers lurk where she can't see? Is there food; water? If so, where could she find them in, literally, the middle of nowhere?

Again, however, these thoughts and concerns do not weigh her down as they might have others because of all the things Chell is, one thing is above the rest.

She is a survivor.

He was a shadow.

Forgotten in the passing of time and wishing to forget all the time that had passed, KITT sat in the obscurity of his own existence agonizing over said presence. He could stop recharging his power packs and allow his energies to rundown past their most critical levels and thus effectively cease to be, but he couldn't. That wasn't to say he hadn't tried. Several times he had resolved to end it and become another lifeless part of the devastated scenery around him, but just as he would reach the brink of no return; "I want you safe." The words of Michael Knight would play over and over, echoing until KITT activated his solar panels. He had endangered and saved his own life time and again. It was maddening and demoralizing.

Logically, Michael was dead and therefore any wishes or orders from the deceased operative shouldn't be taken actively, but here KITT sat, not moving, remaining safe and all the logic in the world hadn't changed this position in decades. The AI didn't want to suffer from this anymore, but couldn't escape the vicious cycle he was caught within. His desire to be deactivated couldn't be fulfilled anymore than his purpose could. Reasonably, he should be switched off permanently, but to do so willingly would violate the last request of his late friend. It didn't help matters that mixed in was a subordinate program designed for him to have some self-preservation properties.

He was terrified not to exist, but forlorn to continue one more day.

She is apprehensive about the new dawn in her life, but sickened by the thought of going back.

Chell is determined to see her freedom through, yet without a purpose she's lost. She is willing to do whatever it takes, but lacks any direction to take her fortitude in. She stops her walk forward and sighs as a cool wind whips past her. Two thoughts spring up in her mind as she reaches up to bring back a strand of her dark hair out of her face; where can she find food and where can she find water? She looks to the left and sees nothing but more field. She turns to face the horizon and sees more of the same. She reflects on the fact most of the plant life around her is dry and brown. In the upper parts of the laboratory there had been green ferns and moss, even ivy was growing down in long tendrils throughout the top levels. Now it appears she is surrounded by life struggling just as hard as her to stay alive.

She glances off to her right briefly, expecting to see the same barren result before facing forward again. What she caught in that quick motion causes her to turn sharply back to her right again. There, in the distance, appear strange, grayish shadows. From her experience, she determines them to be silhouettes of crumbled buildings; ruins. In the past it always served her well to investigate such places, if for nothing else but to appease her curiosity. Considering it is the first thing she has seen other than grass, it is worth a look.

The structures are about nine hundred yards away; a bit of a jog but certainly not too much for Chell. She heads in that direction remaining cautious of her surroundings. It wouldn't be the first time something like this lead to a trap, so she needs to keep her guard up. The closer she gets to the wrecks the more pronounced their destruction appears. Mason work is scattered about in disheveled heaps while rusted steel and iron jut out of the ground like the skeleton of some large beast. Her boots begin crushing over broken glass as prairie slowly turns into crumbled asphalt. Electrical wiring hangs down like giant spider webs from old poles leaning dramatically in the softened ground. Chell is both awed and dismayed.

It triggers memories of her first escape attempt from Aperture; almost like a distant dream. She had defeated GLaDOS and made it to the surface, catching a brief glance of sunlight, trees and wreckage from the facility. Memories of people, places and things also filter through her mind, bringing feelings of happiness and comfort. But seeing this ghost town fuels her nightmares of what the future truly holds for her. Had she been abandoned; forgotten; or worse?

For the first time in a long time, she felt like crying and she did.

For the last time, he scans his surroundings hoping to find something and he does.

KITT sees her, a human, stooping down and placing a gentle hand on the cracked concrete around her. She is just on the other side of a decrepit wall separating them. She can't see him but the divider does nothing to block his view of her. With infrared he can see that she is very much there and very much alive. His medical sensors also tell him she is in surprisingly good health. His x-ray capabilities go far beyond just seeing bones and organs; he sees the strange outfit she is wearing, an orange jumpsuit with the top half wrapped around her waist and a white tank top with the insignia: Aperture Laboratories. He is familiar with the scientific facility, considering it isn't too far from where he was left . . . thus he recognizes the boots. Long Fall boots; obviously she must be a test subject, but that shouldn't have been possible.

He had heard, due to an accident concerning one of the projects there, most people in the facility had met with a dreadful end not unlike most people out here. However, there she is and all his advanced facilities can't seem to quite translate the shock he feels at actually seeing a human being again. So long has it been since he's interacted with anyone, he doesn't even know if he can. The thought of saying anything makes his processor quiver; as if breaking the hush would make her vanish. But something inside him cannot hold back either and he primes his latent voice modulator; the fret over what he is going to say rambling over his CPU.

"Pardon me, Miss?" he says politely in his Boston Brahmin accent. He's startled when she quickly rises to her feet in a defensive position, throwing a rock she grabbed from the ground in the direction of his voice. The stone strikes the wall with such force that part of the cement crumbles away from the impact. KITT's unsure whether to be frightened by the reaction or impressed with the accuracy of her aim. Either way, he knows one thing; she spots him through the holes of the wall and begins to make her way over to him, cautiously; wordlessly. He doesn't know what to say, but he can't help but try and communicate; it's what he's used to.

"I didn't mean to frighten you; I apologize," he says, appalled at the crackling state of his voice. He sounds like he's talking through a CB radio. No response from his stranger however as she comes around the wall and stares at him. Her gaze is so intense and calculating. It gives KITT pause. He doesn't know anything about this woman or her past, but he is willing, no desperate, to reconnect with the only human contact in so long.

"You'll have to excuse my voice; it's a bit rusty. Allow me to introduce myself," he says almost nervously. He decides to skip the formalities of his previous life and cuts straight to the here and now. "My name is Kitt. I've been out here for quite some time and am in disrepair, but I can also see that you are in need of assistance. If there's anything I can do, I would be more than happy to help."

Again, silence; but this time her eyes soften and she steps closer to the passenger side. KITT is dumbfounded. Why doesn't she say anything?

"I gather you don't talk much. Are you alright, Miss . . ." he asks, trying to get a name for this new found hope.

She simply nods her head, trying to see why this strange car would offer her help.

She knows it's a car because she used to ride in them when she was very young, but she cannot remember one ever speaking before. Granted, experience taught her anything is possible, but it also proved machines couldn't be trusted; talking or otherwise. In the past, whenever she encountered a robot, artificial intelligence unit or computer it would dictate to her what she needed to do, tell her what her next task was going to be or even threaten her life and call her names. KITT just apologized, offered her help and politely called her Miss after asking if she was okay.

This is all so different. Is this how it was out here; wide open spaces, broken-down buildings and kind machinery?

"Well, I'm glad you're alright, but if you'll pardon my asking, why don't you speak? I can see that there is no physical damage to your vocal cords, but that you haven't used them in some time."

She frowns. Maybe she is jumping to conclusions too hastily; he might be the same, but without skipping a beat . . .

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude; it's none of my business after all. But if you do need anything . . ."

Her face becomes neutral again and almost in an attempt to prove whether this is real or not, she reaches out and places a hand on the roof of the car, silencing the AI unit.

_He is real and surprisingly warm _She thinks.

_She is real and disturbingly familiar_ He thinks.

He really couldn't classify it as moving forward on his part. It felt more like being dragged, kicking and screaming. He wants to fight against his programming and stay; never move and always remember. But he can't resist the pull she has to leave; move on and forget. This is it; a threshold for his existence. He can't let this possible future go, but he couldn't let go of the past either. He watches as she moves around the car taking in every aspect of him with her blue eyes; just like Michael's had done that first time. She stops in front of the driver's side door and gives him a skeptical look; just like Michael did back in the Knight estate's hanger. There's a choice here; past or present; her or Michael? Which one; which road?

Against all better judgment, KITT unlocks the driver's side door. He hates the sound of squeaky hinges as the door, stiff from inaction, opens. He nearly dies of embarrassment when he notices how musky the interior of his cabin is compared to the fresher air outside. She sits down in the old bucket seat and looks around quietly. If he could cringe he would, but instead he looks to her for a response; just like he had from Michael all those years ago.

Her silence is unsettling.

His talkativeness will be troubling.

She still had thoughts of Wheatley and GLaDOS. Histories of nasty betrayals and death threats will always loom in her mind, but this will be different; she can tell. She'll get the old Pontiac running again and new roads will open up to her and this KITT. But before she does any of that she looks over to the dashboard and notices a keypad. She reaches over and punches in C-H-E-L-L.

"Chell? Your name," he says awestruck; no more shadows. She smiles and nods.

"Chell, it's a pleasure to meet you. Please, allow me to explain all the capacities you'll have at your disposal . . ." KITT beams.

Chell listens, hearing the pride in his voice as he elaborates on all the things he can do or, in some cases, use to do, but her focus is more intent on the underlying humanity to his tone. He sounds like a friend; something she hasn't had in a long time. Yes, this will certainly be different; no more just surviving.

_A time to gain,_  
_ And a time to lose;_  
_A time to keep,_  
_ And a time to throw away;_

_Ecclesiastes 3:6_


	2. Chapter 2

**A Survivor's Shadow**

_Out of Heart and Breath_

It had only been a week since she found the personable computer built into the likeness of a 1982 Pontiac Trans Am; its capabilities far exceeding its make and model, but already she knew she was attached. Seven short days and nights were all it took for Chell to feel needed and cared for by KITT. It was his kindness and concern which changed 'it' to a 'him' and his weakness and humility to make that change invisible to her.

He made her feel safe and secure; something completely foreign to her while in the testing chambers of Aperture. His warmth and compassion felt like long ago memories to her; dreams of happier times; ones she had lost. KITT seemed to be everything the cold, unfeeling laboratories were not; something endearing; something sincere. It was helping her; healing her. It felt good to live again and her morale wasn't the only thing showing improvement either.

The recent absence of terror and life-threatening danger also strengthened her physical health; building up her body over the last few days. Color was returning to her complexion, tired muscles felt more rested and her eyes were becoming brighter every day. Most of this could be traced straight back to KITT. Almost any request she made, he delivered on. For instance, water:

"Go one mile due east to a natural spring. The old gas station down the way there still has some old gas cans you can use to carry water here. Just make sure to rinse them out."

And food:

"Carefully, look into the crumbling buildings on the left. You should find a pantry full of canned goods which are still microbiologically safe to eat."

Shelter:

"Climb in and close the door. I'll admit, it's not the most luxurious accommodations, but I believe you'll be quite comfortable if you lean the seat back."

From hygiene to entertainment, KITT had it covered for her. They even had a way to communicate over distance thanks to a hand held radio he had located. With his tutelage, she had been able to get it and most of his systems back on line. She had been amazed by all the functions and tasks the little black T-top could perform from mapping the stars to starting and extinguishing fires to shooting out grappling hooks. He had a button for everything and an expansive databank to keep up with it all. It seemed the only thing he couldn't do was move.

It wasn't that he hadn't tried, but there simply wasn't any fuel in the gas tank and none to be found. It evaporated years ago, leaving him immobile. This bothered him she could tell, even though she'd only known him over this short time. Chell would try and assure her new friend it was alright, but every time she had to venture out alone in search of food or water, he would become extremely distressed about her leaving; a mixture of personal fear and concern for her. The frightened tremble which entered his voice always saddened her and today, their eighth day together, was no different.

"I should be driving you around; it's not safe out there. You could get hurt or lost or captured again. There would be no way I could get to you, Chell. All I can do is watch," KITT said in a tone of despondency. She regarded the fading lights of his voice modulator with a sigh. Reaching over to the keypad, she was about to type a response when she stopped. Her search for the day wasn't going to be about finding food or water or others because it wasn't a search at all, but a quest. She already knew what she wanted and where it was. Today wasn't going to be about survival, but about a friend. It was going to be about KITT. No more bouts of terrified waiting for him, no more hapless wishing for the sentient car; she was going to get fuel.

I-L-L B-E B-A-C-K I P-R-O-M-I-S-E

"But, Chell, how can you be so sure?" he asked in a way just short of a cry. She sighed again. There was an essence of truth to his words. Her journey wouldn't come without a price and there would be little he could do but keep her in surveillance, but it would have to be enough.

I C-A-N-T B-U-T I H-A-V-E T-O D-O T-H-I-S

There was a moment of silence as KITT took in her demeanor and facial expression. Jaw set, body rigid, fist clenched in anticipation and eyes focused to the distance. His anxiety began to rise as he triangulated her gaze.

"Chell, where are you planning on going?" he asked nervously, fearing the answer but aggravated when he didn't receive one. "You can't be thinking about going back in there, are you?"

Chell simply stepped out of the car and closed the door. KITT quivered.

"No! You can't! You said Glados was dangerous; that she only let you go on a whim. If you're captured again you may not be so fortunate to escape. Please, don't go," he pleaded as she walked around to the front of the car. She stopped and placed a hand on the hood; eyes still set forward. KITT's processor was in full tilt. He couldn't even get his thoughts in order as terror kept rising in him. Faithfully, he spent years never moving at his late friend's request; he felt it cost him Michael. Now, he couldn't move and he feared it would cost him Chell.

"What could be so important to risk your life over!?"

_You_, she thought without hesitancy, _my friend_.

"Please, if it's something I can do or get for you . . ."

She turned her steel blue eyes onto the car and KITT silenced his appeals. She had a very commanding presence about her. One of sheer will and determination the likes of which KITT hadn't seen in decades; since Michael. He quickly chased away the haunting memories and decided to deal with the present situation; the facts. Why would Chell willingly want to go back to that abyss he'd read about; the one she vividly described to him in short text and alluded to in glances of unspoken horror. He didn't want her to go back down there; he really didn't want to lose her; but he knew he couldn't stop her nor should he. After all, he couldn't expect her to stay out here with him forever.

"Chell, at least, tell me why. Maybe, I can help," he said calmly, holding his door back open, hoping. She shook her head in the negative and gestured for him to keep a lookout by pointing at her eyes with two fingers and directing the motion back at the car's windshield. His speech remained steady. "I have no way of knowing whether the radio you have is strong enough to establish a signal with me down there. We may not be able to communicate. Please, reconsider the timing."

She found no traces of the past worry in his voice. Thanks to a neutral, albeit guarded, tone he was using it was tough to tell if he were upset at all. But, the sound of his scanner made her pause for just a moment longer.

The rhythmic sound was hard to describe, mostly because it was unlike anything she had ever heard. Obviously, it had mechanical qualities, but something viable accompanied it; something very alive and comforting. The closet comparison she felt was to liken it to him breathing. He could hide well in prepared dialogue; his perfect camouflage of certainties and judgement, but he had no secrets in this one thing. It was an accurate portrayal of his emotions. She could hear he didn't want her to go and that he was scared.

However, her mind was made up and her heart knew this was the only option if she wanted to continue this life with him. She turned. Picked up an empty gas can. And began walking; each step carrying her away from her freedom and closer to the pits of terror she had escaped from.

Briefly, she sunk into an unfamiliar feeling, dread. She could feel her body tighten up and her breathing intensify. Honestly, she had never experienced fear quite in this way before. Without the contrast of peace she hadn't fully understood the scope of chaos in her life. When escape was always the main priority the fear of being trapped didn't register. Now, she was being bombarded by doubts. Would she be trapped again? Would she be able to get out this time? Would she ever see KITT again? But, true to form, her old survival instincts took over.

Her mind began analyzing and mapping, formatting itself to work out the dangerous situations and complicated problems she would encounter; getting puzzle ready. Her thoughts raced to where she knew the energy for the facility was held. KITT said he could run on a whole array of combustible products and she knew Aperture Science laboratories had plenty of inflammable liquids. The upper levels were still in a state of disrepair and, if time were on her side, they still would be. It meant GLaDOS wouldn't be able to reach her as easily and hopefully give her the edge in returning safely. However, if she were captured again she didn't know if she would be able to escape this time. Having to cheat death twice wasn't a choice before, but this time would be.

Suddenly, she heard the most discouraging sound. The rumble of a starter with no possible hope of ignition; KITT was trying to turn over his engine. She stopped as he tried again. The noise somehow held an air of desperation. He really didn't want her to go. She turned back around and faced him. There was a fleeting moment of silence between them before he tried again. She sighed and walked the few paces back to his open driver's side door. The engine noises stopped and KITT remained quiet as she sat in the seat. She placed her right hand over the touchpad, but didn't move to type any words in. She didn't need to.

The stillness of their shared moment seemed to melt fear and anxiety away. Then . . .

_Lub-dub-lub-dub. _

KITT focused in on one sound.

_Lub-dub-lub-dub. _

Something continuous and absolute.

_Lub-dub-lub-dub. _

Something comforting and secure.

_Lub-dub-lub-dub. _

Something he had missed terribly.

_Lub-dub-lub-dub. _

The human heartbeat.

_Lub-dub-lub-dub. _

Her heartbeat.

He knew he would have to let her go, but, in this moment, he simply listened and remembered it meant she was still alive and so was he.

_Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.__I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled__and do not be afraid. John 14: 7_


End file.
